No Playing just Praying

I know I said I would for the most part keep my kids out of the blog, but I need to write down what is on my mind so here goes.......

Tonight my youngest son was admitted to the hospital. He had been suffering from a 5 day migraine and our medical team decided it was best to admit him. He has suffered migraines for the last several years, missing up to 60 days of school each year. Because of the migraines he has had to stop playing sports because he missed to many practices and games. His teachers have refused to believe there is a problem, even though he ends up in the nurses office probably 25% of the days he is at school. They even went as far as to suggest he is faking and should be put in remedial classes. This for a kid who is in advance math and is mostly a straight A student. Hell he scored 99 percentile in his school testing.

But tonight we had to put him in the hospital. MommaMusky is a mess as can be expected. What is worse is that he will be in the hospital for at least 5-7 days and we won't be allowed to see him or talk to him with the exception of a phone call nightly from 8-8:30.

It's hard to verbalize my emotions. Like any parent I think my kids are the best and love them with all my heart, and my heart is breaking right now because he isn't home (how the hell will I handle college). It's interesting the things you notice the most when your kids are gone, but it's not so interesting when they can't be with you and you can't contact them.

I tried to play my guitar tonight to take my mind off of things, but can't concentrate and found myself stopping and staring into space. I'm dead tired but have no interest in going to sleep. I will be going to work tomorrow, because ....well...what else am I going to do.

As bad as it is for me, I can only guess how bad it is for the boy. He must be scared as hell. He is alone (in the sense he doesn't know anybody), in a place he hasn't been before and can not contact us or come home. I can't imagine what is going on in his mind. When MommaMusky took him to the hospital, we didn't expect this. We thought we would have a few days to prepare. Not the case.

I can't wait until tomorrow at 8PM when I can talk to him. I pray he isn't terrified, I hope I will be able to make it through the night myself. I miss you buddy and I love you!!!!